we just dont know you yet.

too many sad words make for sad sad songs

2011-08-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

You weren't supposed to make me, or break me, you were just supposed to love me.
I guess now that I've found you, I just have to figure it out;
Are you my heaven or my hell?

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2011-07-18T06:06:00.000-07:00

Hi there everyone,
It's Sanchez, I have exciting news, due to recent developments (aka I'm getting my act together) WJDKYY is gaining a new admin, and blogger. Along with the new writers to this here lovely blog. Because of this change I've decided to also redesign the blog. We should be back and running in 2 months, with the announcement of the new bloggers in about a months time on the inky finger files.

If you have any experience in blog design, or just want to give some advice feel free to contact me at theinkyfingerfiles@hotmail.com for any suggestions or contributions. We would be eternally grateful.

all my unconditional love,
Sanchez

recruiting.

2011-04-29T21:49:00.000-07:00

here
we just don't know you yet is recruiting.
go here to learn more.
we'd love to hear your story

entry closes June 23rd.

emptiness

2011-04-25T20:08:00.000-07:00

when they said life was about the things we have, they lied. life is about the things we've lost.
we are defined by the the things we lack-

not these quiet, faceless things,
but their absence.

2011-04-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

friendships are like fires - they crackle, they stink of smoke, they spit hot bits of ash at you, they can burn you if you're not careful.

fires can be stamped out by a stupid mistake

and some fires, you just can't re-light.

here<3

Fortunately, he is a brilliant orator.

2011-04-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

Once

I chose to speak
you decided to listen.

We drank 'til drunk
and wouldn't stop

[here]

when will it end?

2011-04-07T04:39:00.000-07:00

i hate how love grabs you by the throat and chokes you.

and every time you cross paths your stomach convulses and you lose yourself;

become foolish.

the closer you want to get to them, the more it feels like they're pushing you away.

and you hate yourself.

and you want to free yourself.

and you smile, and you laugh, and you try to pretend you might have a chance.

but are you going to take it?

The unknown and the forgotten.

2011-03-07T04:00:00.000-08:00

~~It's like~~ it never happened.

Me.

You.

~~Us?~~

It didn't mean anything.

To anyone.

Did it?

"That was just in case we crash and die."

I'm running out of reasons to believe you existed.

Ihopeyouneverforgetme.

sorry.

2011-03-03T01:48:00.000-08:00

here

they keep saying things.
I keep doing things.
I ~~cannot~~ control,
I cannot remember,
the last 24 hours
of my life.

memories are meant to be forever.

obviously someone lied.

2011-02-18T10:39:00.000-08:00

i'm waiting for you to reach out, like you used to.
to smile, like you once did, many summers ago.
i'm waiting for you to see me,
my cold heart
my tears.
i'm waiting for the sun to light up your eyes,
for your arms. around me.
i'm waiting for you to realise
that i never
stopped
loving you.

here <3

bone prisons

2011-02-13T10:34:00.000-08:00

i found her hiding
behind my ribcage

sleeping in the hollows of me
banging angrily against
her bone prison

never fucking love me

2011-01-27T03:27:00.000-08:00

I don't want to be here.
not anymore.
not with, or without you.
Because through the m o m e n t s, when I make no sense.
when I'm crying senselessly into phones, with ~~bruised~~ knees, cuts and scars...

I guess, I'm just trying to say I don't know how to live anymore

and I'm so fucking scared because I don't know how to die either.

~~my heart hurts so fucking much~~

happy new year.

2011-01-16T04:48:00.000-08:00

Dancing, dancing, dancing.

Tearful face; what’s wrong?

Raped, raped, raped.

No. To you? No.

Police, police, police.

Help, please, my friend-

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,

four, three, two...

one. one. one.

fireworks reflected in our tears,

and the snot from our noses.

in the end we are all we have

2011-01-12T21:39:00.000-08:00

in the beginning there were stars in our teeth.

my mouth still tingles.

we can be better.

hope isn't my saviour.

2011-01-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

here

I'm still waiting, didn't you know?
I'm still waiting for a s i g n ,
or a flicker of light
maybe a siren or a moment of silence,
a single straw to break the camels back
that tells me,
that tells us,
that warns us

"there is always hope."

but I get words confused all the time. Remember?

There's a hole in my heart where the pain gets in.

2011-01-02T19:41:00.000-08:00

This is where I cross the l i n e.

This is where I stop.

our first christmas

2010-12-24T03:52:00.000-08:00

We Just Don't Know You Yet team

would like to wish you all happy holidays (or lack there of)

cause this is our first time together

so please be kind.

we love you till our hearts burst,

and bleed through the ~~empty~~

posts of this here blog.

and we thank you readers for every word.

you're beautiful

2010-12-18T12:35:00.000-08:00

we are young
so young that heaven still shows in the wet corners of our eyes.

don't be afraid to be beautiful.

wear your good clothes now.

Farther than all the galaxies.

2010-12-16T16:02:00.000-08:00

{here}

We'll dance together into nothingness;
I'll leap beyond the boundaries of the universe,
you'll sprint into the heart of a blank world.

and we will create something new.

2010-12-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

She woke up to the crashing of the sea so loud it hurt her ears, the salty air so pure it stung her lips, the wind so sharp it burnt her eyes. Birds cawed at the sight of her golden mane thrashing in the air.The girl breathed in the beach, for it had been years since their last encounter.

here

you can break, but never fix

2010-12-12T15:21:00.000-08:00

here

You gave me a promise I never wanted to keep,
and I swore to myself, I would become everything you told me not to be.
the question now, is ~~whether~~ I am rebelling,
or keeping peace,
between my s a n i t y , and your dignity,

and for what its worth, I would wear my heart on my sleeve.

but you stole my sweater.

To:

2010-12-04T19:31:00.000-08:00

I'll save some words for myself.

You'll never speak your throat-caught sentences,
but it's better this way -
we're more beautiful silent.

[here]

a revelation come undone

2010-11-27T06:01:00.000-08:00

here

I wanted you.
nothing more nothing less,
I wanted you more than anything and anyone.
I wanted you more then flowers wanted the sun
more then the waves yearned for the storms
more than monks prayed for silence
I wanted you more than the whole world wished for peace.
or the hills wailed for the winds.
more than the lightning that b e g g e d for thunder
~~more than girls who asked for love~~
I wanted you
more then I wanted myself.

and I guess I forgot somewhere, to look and see
that you were never really anything worth wanting.

but, by then, I had already lost me.

trapped

2010-11-25T12:11:00.000-08:00

i've tried to run away

once

twice

three

four

five

times.

but
a body always returns to the hand that shaped it.

a body always returns to its ghosts.

the hundredth

2010-11-21T21:41:00.000-08:00

to celebrate the hundred ways we have tried to find you

and all our efforts that will continue until you are found.

don't worry, we will know you eventually.

Francesca.

I'm pulled across the distance of time to you

and the fog of my memory is cleared.

I can see your face clearly now;

young, the way it was three years ago.

The present is but a vague image on the horizon

but it does not matter

because I am here again with you now.

Jamlia.
dear 60 year old man,
in your next life i hope you're a sixteen year old girl with hair so golden it looks like god threaded it with stardust. wear your hair in braids. wear skirts so long they whisper against the born again grass. 
this time you can do everything you didn't do the first time.

sngz.

to c.c. [1]


"I am dying, Egypt, dying." 
- Antony and Cleopatra, Act 4, Scene 16 

1.

Nervously I knocked on your door, but you smiled and let me in. The office smelled of tobacco, but I didn't mind. We were both men, after all. 
There was a brief discussion of Hamlet, and I passionately defended Ophelia. You agreed to teach me. 
2. 
Today I would walk into that office on the fourth floor, mug of coffee in my hand, and proceed to discuss the significance of a single word. I learned that from you.

Katherine.

I have a box, which I keep in my drawer.

Its empty, but it used to hold a silver chain, with a windmill pendant.
A gift from laughing friends.
The windmill is gone.
But when I open the box, the memory of the chain clouds my eyes.
And the lost friends linger on.

Camelgirl.

Then you told me there were symptoms

that I was letting my life become a fail;
Somebody cut the strings,
and my belief abandoned me.
But I will pull myself back up onto the face of this cliff,
even if it's only to look you in the face and say, "You were wrong."

Sanchez.

to everything I was;

I cannot possibly describe how much this pains me to say goodbye.

weary hearts, have weary veins, b r o k e n arteries, and heavy lungs.

I cannot bear to see you again.

because you were never you.

and I will never be who you thought was me.

I just wish we said goodbye.

this is us saying goodbye.

and me saying hello.

I hope I can be everything we didn't hoped for.

Tegan is in hiding somewhere.

impossible dream.

2010-10-09T12:58:00.000-07:00

On lucid nights
in violent fights
none shall die
and all are painlessly wounded.

I wish you couldn't figure me out.

2010-10-07T04:11:00.000-07:00

I've decided to stop using question marks,
that way I'll stop expecting answers.

2010-10-01T09:40:00.000-07:00

you make me feel all snuggly inside.

like a child with the biggest teddybear in her room.

like roasting marshmallows in front of a fire

and staying out all night.

like the sun on my back as i

read in the garden.

like disney land.

like a pretty charm bracelet, full of meaning.

like waking up on christmas day.

like love.

when i was young i believed in the infinity things i couldn't do yet

2010-09-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

when i was a kid, i believed that using another persons driveway for a three-point turn was a terrible, horrible thing to do. i was frightened that they would come out and yell at us.

i like the small feelings of accomplishment; pushing an arm through the sleeve of a tangled jumper, finding a gold coin at the bottom of an unused bag, finishing a book, hanging up a dress, cooking a slice, finding a gnome at the end of your garden.

yes, they do have fingernails - they also have a residue that drips out of their ears into their socks.

it tastes like jam.

i can't believe we thought we stood a chance

2010-09-14T21:30:00.000-07:00

we were young and beautiful the way lilacs and newborns are beautiful.
we were beautiful the way people in love are beautiful.

this was our first mistake- believing that the way we felt about each other made us infallible. we believed, we really believed that we were enough.

we built ourselves a world out of fairy tales and popsicle sticks. we were in heaven, brushing up against the angels. i opened the window wide, i had a question for god.

it was only when the rest of the world came flying in that we remembered. no one is invincible. not even us.

To: Autumn

2010-09-12T08:18:00.000-07:00

Lips on my shoulder
as I change.
Cashmere in the leaves.

[here]

We had a promise made.

2010-09-10T05:21:00.000-07:00

Just before I went,
We made a silent promise,
But when I returned,

You were gone.

And all I was left with were these dirty fingerprints on my heart.

sky and earth.

2010-09-05T01:02:00.000-07:00

here

You were the sky
and I, the earth.
the horizon was our goal.

and maybe, I thought,
one day we'd finally be able to meet.

hopefully somewhere in-between,

nice to meet you, saviour.

2010-09-01T01:37:00.000-07:00

your eyes remind me of hope,

of what honesty, and love, look like.

crinkles, trenches dug from happiness and sunshine, make me feel safe.

i’m learning to smile with my eyes,

to form those special crinkles;

to look like love.

i don’t think you mind what i look like, though;

whether it be love, hate, or wind.

This X is That

2010-08-29T14:09:00.000-07:00

Imagine, if you will, what it is to be a beautiful thing yet not realize it. You float in a mass of life with other things that are beautiful but do not know that they are. Then one day a cold, slender hand lifts you up and says, "This is what I've been missing."

At first you struggle in their grip for this is change and you are no longer what you were and must become what you are. So you grow legs and leap out of the palm, tied forever to your savior. Then you reach into the pool and draw out beauty.

[here]

2010-08-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

You're like the feeling I get on Christmas Eve.
You're like a fresh breeze on a hot summer's day.
You're like lemon juice in a paper cut.
You're are the bitter-sweet feeling that I can't shake away.
You're like a book which has no ending.
You're like a patch of shade in the desert.
You're a long-forgotten dollar, dropped on the floor.
You're a hug after I've cried for you.
You're like a jewellery box full of treasures.
You are the sun, the moon and the stars.

the dark side of the moon- the time you left home and forgot to come back

2010-08-25T14:41:00.000-07:00

a hunger fierce between my ribs
a heavy loneliness
you are half a world away.
tonight, look up at the moon, realize:
the wolves don't howl first, they howl back.
get down on all fours
look at her, full and bright
whisper my name into the night sky
tonight i will dream of you

It's a silly time to learn to swim, when you start to drown.

2010-08-24T04:57:00.000-07:00

Dear someone I once knew,

Our foundations were ~~good~~ strong,
Which is what my maths teacher tells me you need,
But we built our tower too tall,
So when a strong wind came and one storey began to wobble,
It all came tumbling down;

And so did we.

All that was left standing were the foundations.

~~(But what use are foundations if they have nothing to hold up?)~~

Maybe one day we can build on those foundations again.

here

Love from someone who hopes they'll know you again one day.

Dear Murasaki

2010-08-22T16:29:00.001-07:00

And when I write my true thoughts down, I worry someone will read them and see that I am often lying - how vain of me to think this. So now my letters, the quick notes and the long tales, lay in a chest, still silent. Through chance - some call it fate - we can now speak. Two I send you with this, full of heart.

[via weheartit]

chase me.

2010-08-15T05:26:00.000-07:00

here

But, only just now.
just this minute.
did I realise how much it hurts.
how much you hurt.

you're hurting me.
but I need you.
where are y o u ?

Dead and breathing.

2010-08-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

here

The charming tune of your twisted heart has disappeared, but the lyrics still remain, their terrible pleas forgotten and left alone to echo within themselves.
Your lovely poison will no longer pass through my lips. Because now, darling, I do not need you.

the doorway.

2010-08-10T05:30:00.000-07:00

here
you don't scare me like you used to.
there aren't anymore lies,
or heart aches. only stomach aches.
there used to be a kind of urgency to leave,
but now there's q u i e t .
and you
only you;
standing, trying to block the door.

and I'm not going anywhere.

so then why are you in the way?

2010-08-09T02:28:00.000-07:00

Life is like a piano. The white keys are happiness and the black keys are sadness, but as you play your life's song, remember that the black keys make music too.

I could never belong to you.

2010-08-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

If I gave you all the time in the world,
Would you turn it back,
So we could become an us again?

Or would that be just like paying

to watch ourselves make the same silly mistakes all over again?

(here)

fall apart to fall together

2010-08-04T21:15:00.000-07:00

when your dark thoughts wrap around you like a blanket, and send a furious shiver down your twisted spine, remember that you were born from light.

as you grew like a greedy orchard in your mother's womb, remember the time god sent the angels to kiss you on the forehead and whisper in your tiny ears.

there were rainbows before.
there will be rainbows again.

fuck you, this isn't a saying anymore!

2010-08-02T01:54:00.000-07:00

here
I need you to need me,
like actually...

but maybe, all this confusion
is just you telling me

that you're not really the one that I need anymore

or even the one that I want

Seasalt, In Three Acts

2010-07-31T10:53:00.000-07:00

1.
A propensity for salt has led to a taste for sweat.

2.
Summer months, she licks dew from lips.
I brush beads from skin.
To sleep is to ruin, these nights are so long and warm.

3.
Clothes, when shed, are damp as rain.
Crickets, when heard, are beautiful things.

[here]

I could be so much more than this.

2010-07-30T05:58:00.000-07:00

here

Finally,

You o p e n e d your mouth (for him),

And instantly you regret it,

For,

He bit off your tongue.

we wouldn't have it any other way.

2010-07-28T15:32:00.000-07:00

here

there are just a whole lot of things
I really wanted to say.
to you,
to us,
maybe even to myself.
but those words turn into s i l e n c e.
and then silence to peace.

But that just isn't good enough anymore.
Because who wants peace?
When you can have a riot?

and no one would riot for less.

At the Party

2010-07-20T20:13:00.000-07:00

You enter to eyes.

Flick up, look down,
turn away, tell a story.

You sit.
A nod
left, a whisper
right, so - maybe -
you're remembered.

gummy drops and lollipops.

2010-07-19T02:41:00.000-07:00

Demons slithering inside; crystal backs and ruby eyes.

don’t slash too hard, you’re livelihood may dribble from your bellybutton.

wait a bit longer, just to see.

Temptation draws you closer, but don’t give in.

the craving in your ribcage will stop soon, the gnashing teeth at your lungs, and the hand gripping your abused heart.

Your broken body must stand strong.

feel your skull pulse under the pressure.

but remember, remember,

you can can can go on.

here

rescue me

2010-07-17T15:30:00.000-07:00

When you've lost him, and all you see is darkness, so much so that it consumes your every sense.. so that you hear the darkness, even smell the darkness.. Remember this:
You cannot find him, until he wants to be found.

{picture-www.weheartit.com}

fly away birdy

2010-07-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

cut me open, let in the sun. teach me how to lick stardust from the hollow corners of the earth. only when i've brushed my teeth with dirt and moon rocks, will birds return to the safe recess of my holy mouth.

they will teach me how to fly.

Choices of Fear

2010-07-14T05:33:00.000-07:00

here

We're all scared of beginnings.
But we're also scared of endings.
So all we really want is for right now
to last forever.

Time isn't going to stop just for us.

a second beginning.

2010-07-11T04:27:00.000-07:00

you already know who i am,

what i was,

what i looked for. (what I am still looking for)

but you know nothing about them

and its best to know the people who speak truthfully.

So, I'm Steve.
I've been drafting introductions on blank envelopes, that should tell you a lot about me. If not, here are three more facts [everything is best in threes]:

I love cats, Joni Mitchell, and coffee.
I dance in the bathroom.
I got my tattoo at a party in an artist's studio in New York City.
You know, Dickinson once wrote, "This is my letter to the world
That never wrote to Me -"
So these are my letters to you, who or whatever you may be. I'm not looking for one person, one idea, one truth. I'm searching for a community where I can find anything. Something.

i'm tegan.
i don't know what i want from life.
i want to find love, expand my book collection and be happy.
i think, that that is all :)
i love finding beauty in words and pictures,
and i think .. if i could find my mondern-day romeo,
my life would be complete.

I'm Jamila,
an aspiring writer who, as of now, is only aspiring.

i'm looking for the things i've lost, and the exact words to describe the way my mind and heart flutter.
i'm looking for answers to the questions that plague me, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and the light at the end of the tunnel. i am looking for a fairytale.

i am looking for you.

i cannot play sports or braid hair or sing you sweet songs, but i can write until the tips of my fingers go numb.i can write until i've eased the aching of your heart, and your quiet wounds and battle scars. i cannot offer you anything more than these letters that make words that make magic. i hope it is enough. I'm looking for something

This is Fancesca

I’m looking for something,
anything really,
to grasp onto and never let go of,
that will explain everything
that doesn’t make sense.
I’m looking for an end to the confusion.
I’m looking for answers.
I'm looking for reasons.
I’m looking for everything.
Or maybe, I’m just looking for somebody who understands.

I’ll probably never find it, but it’s more about the journey than the end.
. . . right?

Hi, I’m Katherine.
I’m easily obsessive and mood swingy; consumed by music and love.
I’m sleepless, and tired; loyal and life loving.
I can’t tap dance, juggle, or act.
I’m socially inept, but a generally happy person.
And I’m trying to find the sadness in me.
So I can destroy it.

This is Camelgirl.

We all seem to be looking for something,
but what?
Most of the time do we even know what we're looking for?
And if we don't, how will we know when we find it?
I'm never content with what I have,
I have to keep searching for something more
or different.
And it's kind of scary,
because what if we never find what we've been looking for all this time,
or possibly even worse,
what if we find it
but it isn't what we expected,
it's something much less.
I'm afraid of that disappointment.

This blog for me
is this little bit of hope inside of me that
I'll find someone
or something
that will make me stop looking.

so they are the new, bright eyed people, who want to share their stories, their findings.

be kind.

be gentle.

I love them will all my heart.

the first farwell

2010-07-06T22:17:00.000-07:00

these girls have been my life, from start to finish, they for one, have brought all you lovely followers here, they have perked our interest, and startled our minds.

and in someways, I think we might all just be closer to you. Because this little blog wouldn't be anything without them. But its time to take break, let them go, clear our minds,

and bring in the new.

these girls will forever inspire, and live within the very core of this blog.

we just have to remember;

this isn't a goodbye.

but merely an end there are always epilogues .

to you

You know those moments in a TV show, or movie, those really really cute ones, where your eyes kind of start watering and you feel all happy inside, well who do you think of when you see those moments? The point I am trying to explain, and not very well, is that this site, its kind of the place to write about that person. It's a place to write unwritten letters. And I have loved writing for it, and reading what other people wrote. You feel kind of connected to each other, like you're all searching for a common thing. Someone that feels like home, that when your in there arms, you feel breathless, and full of life, all at the same time. So yes, I'm really going to miss it.

from Catherine

to you

This was a diary for all my secret thoughts. Thoughts I was afraid to say out loud or even write in my own diary. Here were letters I wrote to:
him, because I was and still am in love with him;
him, because his head on my shoulder and my hand in his are still in my mind;
him, for the friendship I wasn't sure still existed;
and him, because I miss him.

My heart is now lighter and my mind is clear.

from Zmaga

to you

bonjour! 

It has been a tea-riffic experience being in a group blog! Although I didn't do as many posts as I hoped due to moving from my home town into a brand new city things have been hectic! Overall it has been great, the girls are so awesome & their posts are so surreal! This is such a beautiful blog created by the lovely Sanchez! I wish all the original members a farewell & a huge welcome to the brand new members! I hope you have fun & I look forward to reading your lovely future posts! 

Au revoir!

from Jenifer

to you.

& because i never got a proper goodbye with you--like i'd pictured in my head,





i'll make one up right now.

i ran after you out the door,
held you're hand & i thanked you, told you how much i cared.
you said, 'be brave, good luck, take care...'

& even though you were crying, you held my gaze so steadily.
i knew you were afraid, but i knew you were brave too.

you had to be brave, you had to be ready, and--
maybe you were.
i wish i didn't have to say goodbye.

from Erimentha
to you
And the corner is here. The corner is here- you are slowly diappearing out of sight.  
This is where we part, love. I know you will be okay- perfectly okay. And I love you.  
This has been such a great experience, insightful and beautiful. 

from Sara


get ready for the hurricane,  
new members starting soon.

I know

2010-06-27T03:29:00.000-07:00

here

I hold on to the idea of you, even though you are not there (I don't even know you). There is an outline of you, an outline that I really, really know. But the details- the most important details- I am yet to know. I know, though, that your skin feels good. It feels like home. I know that your thoughts I can hear without you having to speak, and they can put me to sleep; peacefully. I know that your eyes could keep me warm- even on the coldest of nights. (and your arms; safe) I know you love me. I love you, too.

the dreaming.

2010-06-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

we're both in this dream together,

& when we wake up they will still be gone.

but somehow it will be bearable, better than this.

i don't think you understand.

2010-06-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

here

we were the shadows, in the darkest of corners.
we were the music before the rumble
we were the confusion before the fight

we were the air before there was n o n e.
we were the cracks, in the very best of places.

but we were young

so no one saw it coming.

so why didn't you?

frozen.

2010-06-09T23:52:00.000-07:00

image from a friend.

everything is hanging like

static.

far away.

and i keep telling myself that it's okay to let go, to break this stillness;

but i don't know if letting go hurts or heals

& no one else knows either.

the king i see inside.

2010-06-05T17:25:00.000-07:00

we're living in such an intangible world.
where nothing is here, or there.

and we're not flying anymore, we're barely even walking
so is this a cruel charade put on by my heart,
or am i really starting to feel something again

he's holding back hes hiding, but what i can't decide
why won't he be the king i know he is , the king i see insde.
pretty picture: here

fairy-tale in making

2010-06-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

This difference between us... it feels like it's growing right before my eyes. It's pushing me away from you. Maybe that's better, maybe you'll leave, we don't know that now and we won't know it for months.

Is it worth the risk if there is a fair chance you'll leave? Is it worth not taking anyone else into consideration because you are the Prince I choose, even though it seems that your princess should be someone else...someone younger... someone who is not so desperately in love with you.

I know you're worth the risk.

I want to believe you are.

image source: here

no, don't worry.

2010-05-29T04:56:00.000-07:00

here

f i n e is many letters short of fuck,
and like I said hope is help,
and have & hate are pretty simillar,
because all those things I have close to my heart,
are becoming things I feel I need to pull away from...
to push away from.

don't let me push you away.

because right now it seems like the best option.

too much

2010-05-27T03:13:00.000-07:00

I miss you.

I saw a picture of you several days ago. I saw it after not seeing your face for so long... It hurt. I saw your smile, I could almost hear it. Almost.

I watched a movie today and at one point a guy says that he feels safe, that he feels safe with that girl in his arms. That's how I felt with you. Just safe. I miss that feeling, but most of all, I miss your friendship.

Do you miss me?

I miss you. I miss her, too, but you were always a better friend. So why do I still hang out with her when it's you who I really want to see?

It will almost be a year since It happened. Will everything stay like this forever?

my reality.

2010-05-25T03:23:00.000-07:00

here

stop telling me i can't, won't, shouldn't.

stop telling me how i should feel.

i think i know how this should be,

what normal is supposed to be like.

this my reality asshole.

we'd love you if you let us [recruiting]

2010-05-23T00:54:00.000-07:00

here

we just don't know you yet is recruiting.

go here to learn more.

we'd love to hear your story

entry closes june 11th.

four to five winners will be chosen,

and they will be asked to join WJDKYY.

If you have any enquires about the blog, competition and or its rules comment or email me at

theinkyfingerfiles(at)hotmail(dot)com

"and even if i was ready, its like, hello, im ready, where is she?"

2010-05-21T05:36:00.000-07:00

pretty pictures: unkown, and here

you dont complete me, you're not my happiness in a bottle

you're just a contributing factor
but in a crazy out of this world harry potter kind of way
thats what makes you so wonderful

and this feeling, its not of happiness, or of sadness. its not of anger or spite. its just like im floating through time and space. and i dont have to be anyone, or think anything. its kind of lovely.

Mr Moustache, Oui!

2010-05-17T07:13:00.000-07:00

Image via Weheartit.

I like moustaches, they make me smile.

I like people who have fake moustaches, it makes it interesting.

its not 'when' anymore, its 'if'.

2010-05-17T03:11:00.000-07:00

here

it's not like I'm walking on sunshine
or breaking a p a r t.
it's not like I'm crying
or trying
to be something else anymore

its more like this is different...

because this is you.

and not anyone else.

ha-ha-ha-hate

2010-05-14T05:08:00.000-07:00

"We can never screw up as much as they can screw up." - this is what my friend said trying to console me.

I was worried I hurt your feelings, that I'm hurting you just being the way I am.
I was banging my head against the wall trying to figure you out, trying to figure out what the hell you want from me.
I was convinced I could spin your mind whenever I appear. Maybe I can... but that doesn't matter...
...because there is an end to this story: you have her, I want him.

but you didn't

2010-05-14T04:34:00.000-07:00

here

My hands can slip so carelessly,
so exceptionally, around all the things I shouldn't have.
that only you can save me from.
and my mind, and body reaches rooftops, and my legs fall out
of windows and doors,
and my life is turning upside down,
since falling in that rabbit hole.
and only you can save me from it.

but you just didn't fall down with me.

or have you?

one windy night

2010-05-11T23:36:00.000-07:00

here

i've given up on you.

not because i want to, but because it makes more sense this way.

and i know you haven't given up on me, maybe never will.

but okay with that, for now.

you're a part-time lover and a full-time friend

2010-05-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Or what I'm feeling.

from here

I enjoyed you.

I was terrified we almost kissed, but I wonder what would it be like.

"I am pissed. I am shy."

There's an end to this story. I just don't know it yet.

It's up to me.

but we don't

2010-05-09T04:53:00.000-07:00

here
and if only we knew so much
that our hearts didn't bleed by
rips and tears
but rather unexpected, heart stopping things
and if only we knew so much
that we weren't shocked anymore
from the things we had become.

and if only we knew so much
because if we knew half as much as I wished

we ~~probably~~ could have cured the world;
of you,
and me

of us.

i miss you... both

2010-05-06T01:18:00.000-07:00

I miss you. I miss talking to you about music, laughing over twss jokes, walking beside you. I miss your hand on my cheek when you kiss me. I miss your voice. Although I know I shouldn't miss any of these because you were never mine to begin with.

I miss your touch. I miss your tight hug and that long kiss on the cheek. I miss holding your hand. Although I know I shouldn't miss any of these because I can have it so easily.

image from here

she's right

2010-05-04T01:18:00.000-07:00

here

and it is just like she says it is.
this doesnt make s e n s e anymore.
it just seems like hands holding
long gazes
and words softly spoken
but no intentions; that ultimately lead
to dead ends.
and broken streets.
with rusty fences
and dim lights.

I miss you so goddamn much, even when you're right next to me

so why can't you just miss me?

heart.

2010-05-03T01:28:00.001-07:00

and so because none of this makes sense, not even a tiny bit.

i am forced to make mind-maps, lists, stories, metaphors and code-words.

to get some kind of tangible data.

when all i really want to do is hold you.

times like these

2010-04-30T03:03:00.000-07:00

I smile likes this..

image via weheartit

When I have pretty fabric bows and headbands in moi hair
When I dance in my underwear whilst holding that brissle hair brush & singing
As I walk through a quiet park
When he kisses me sweetly
When his finger tips stroke each strand of moi hair
When we play hop scotch
When I get away with many things "because I am a girl" hehe
Thinking about all the beautiful things I love
When I get surprises that I secretly already know about
When moi favourite song gets played when I'm out at the shops
When I see our shadows hand in hand

- - -

I smile like this oh so brightly when I know I'm happy.

Wowee!

image via weheartit

back the fuck up

2010-04-29T05:06:00.000-07:00

here

if I say don't
I mean don't.
because that part of me
that horrible what i was
part that I hate.
you shouldn't know.
because I don't even want to know.

I never want to find that part of me again.

and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't even find you.

weep for yourself, my man, you'll never be what is in your heart.

2010-04-28T14:02:00.000-07:00

love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you

it will set you free
be more like the man that you were made to be

please, cut the bullshit,

and be totally honest about something, just for once.

i want to jump off planes, fly over mountains

so why can't i be fearless with you? why cant i take that leap?

because im too fucking scared.

pretty pictures: here and here.

i felt it.

2010-04-27T07:05:00.000-07:00

Joey: I felt it

Pacey: What?

Joey: This morning when your arm brushed up against me in bed... I felt it

Pacey: How did it feel?

Joey: It made me feel alive

Pacey: Ok. Joey... I'm going to kiss you now.

Joey: You can't.

Pacey: Jo, you can't say something like that to me and expect me not to kiss you, so that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna kiss you in about 10 seconds. And if you don't want me to kiss you... Well, if you don't want me to, I guess then you're just gonna have to stop me.

I felt it. When you held my hand. When you looked at me the way He used to. I cannot explain it. I want it, I just don't know if I want you. No... I do know. It's not you who I want.

Just let me be, please. Because my head is already in clouds, I can't control myself, I can't say "no", I don't want to say "no". You feel good.

I don't want to hurt you.

image from here

who are you?

2010-04-26T03:40:00.000-07:00

here

You held the door for me and said that I was welcomed when I thanked you.
You waited for me to leave my parking spot so you would leave yours.

I drove past you and you did me.

I can still remember your voice.

But I don't know your name.

i miss you like a hole in the head

2010-04-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

from weheartit

You are not my superhero anymore.
You are someone else, someone I could never ever fall in love with... I was in love with the old you.
You and me - it's different, it's blank, like the last year doesn't count at all, like we don't know each other.
Like we deliberately try to hurt each other because I know your pet peeves and you know mine.
What happened?

Whatever it is... I am too tired to fix it.

letters to the universe.

2010-04-19T01:31:00.000-07:00

-- Dear: you you you you you/universe.

who the ~~fuck~~ are you?

and why oh why universe, can't I know them now? --

don't get me wrong

"It's not so much what you look like he hates, its what's inside that he can't stand"

"aw, gee thanks "

here

love might ~~just~~ tear us apart.

but i won't let it tear me apart.

so don't you dare tear me apart.

children, don't grow up.

2010-04-18T04:51:00.000-07:00

our bodies getting bigger, hearts torn up.

i wished that he was right there with me, dancing in the rain.

but it didnt come true.

and im actually really afraid of growing up.

of it all become a reality instead of a dream

of my heart getting broken, over and over again.

i dont want love to be the thing that tears me apart.

but really, what im most terrified of, is never finding it in the first place.

"truth is, everyone's going to hurt you,

you just have to find the ones worth suffering for" -bob marley.

pretty picture: here

you & i

2010-04-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

here

you are the believer,

and i am the answer.

you are the dreamer,

and i am the dark sky.

you are the seashore,

and i am the encore.

you are the reason i am forever.

go on

2010-04-14T15:25:00.000-07:00

here

just find me amazing
and for once,
I might just find you
slightly intriging.

but don't bet on it.

starry lightning

2010-04-13T01:27:00.000-07:00

"Next thing, we're touching
You look at me, it's like you hit me with lightning"

I missed you, darling, and I've never been more happier than when you told me you missed me first.

I want to know you, I want to talk to you all the time, I want to be with you. I want to write you love letters and buy you flowers. I want to share a milkshake with you. I want everything...
as long as it is with you.

'cause boys don't cry.

2010-04-12T00:49:00.000-07:00

i really hate that i feel this way
but somehow,

i still never want it to end.

so can we run away together, just for a day

we'll run through the water, and climb up rocks

we'll be happy

images:here and here

if we knew the truth

2010-04-10T19:52:00.000-07:00

here

and there's someone somewhere, who might just miss me
just as much as I miss you.
but I don't know who that is yet.

quietly listening

2010-04-07T23:56:00.000-07:00

here

and so we sit and argue in the middle of the doctors waiting room.

saying this & that in hushed angry voices,

trying to find a solution to the enormity of this problem.

and a women sits across from us, staring at her shoes, listening intently.

and i wonder whose side she's on, and why there has to be sides.

metathesiophobia

2010-04-07T00:59:00.000-07:00

here

Forever has no meaning
when you're living in the moment,
I wasn't ready for that moment to end.

were you?

this sucks.

2010-04-06T01:27:00.000-07:00

I wanted it to be you and me.
I wanted you to be mine so bad, I didn't even knew how bad until you told me about her. That girl of yours who is smart and sweet and cute. Until you told me you think that "this could be it" for you.
I missed my chance, I know, I wasn't even aware I had it. But I thought that the way you were talking to me and hugging me was... that it meant to you so much more than it did.

I still think about your hand on my neck at night.

wish you were here

2010-04-05T04:31:00.000-07:00

and now, every night, i cant help but hope for a 'sweet dreams'

i miss you.

i really do, wish you were here, just so i could feel safe in your arms.

so that, underneath the crushing wait of confusion

i could feel lovely again

images: unknown and here

the missing link

2010-04-03T22:36:00.000-07:00

here

is you.

realize

2010-04-02T14:41:00.000-07:00

here

I feel like I am trapped.
I feel like the best days of my life should be here by now.

Dear "Best days of my life",
I hope you are on your way because, you see, it's getting scary that you are this late! But then again, maybe it's my fault...
Maybe I shouldn't just sit there and wait for you.
YES!!

Oh my God, yes! I should make the best of my days! And they would be the best days of my life! Times worthwhile are not received, THEY ARE CREATED!!

ps I just made the realization as I was writing this, I promise!

the only problem

2010-03-31T23:40:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: These are not my actual feelings. Just a way to express something

more personal then you.

here

it doesn't matter what or who I am.
because whatever, where ever I am.

I'm not with you.

and that's one of the biggest problems in itself.

in my wonderland, I dream of you.

2010-03-31T00:02:00.000-07:00

- Hand in hand -

Je rêve de toi

here

The days go by so gracefully.

Being with you for the last few months,

making every moment count.

It feels so hard to know that soon,

I won't be seeing you as much as I usually do.

I will miss your voice, your touch.

I can't bare to know that once I step foot on that plane,

there's no turning back.

It won't be forever, I will come back.

I promise.

Our promises we made for one another,

will stay locked inside my fragile heart.

This is life and there are always changes.

Maybe this will be a test on our love.

If we can concur through this,

We can do anything.

This is the moment I find who I am,

and knowing that you'll be by my side.

Supporting & guiding me every step of the way,

makes everything so much worth while.

But then reality hits & the days keep counting down.

So hold my hand & never let go.

I need you,

I miss you.

I love you,

always.

here

we'll make heaven our place on earth

2010-03-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

i need you. i just need you to hold me.

fuck, it scares me how much i need you

the love that you give me so blatantly makes me smile

but is the same love that makes me cry

and when i see you, i feel this happiness that seems never ending

but then i feel it, that underneath it all, there is a little bit of sadness

like i know, it has to end sometime

that one day, i might have to say goodbye.

and maybe, a single tear will slide down my cheek. and ill hear the words 'its ok'. but it wont be.

na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye

images: here, and here.

the burning library.

2010-03-27T02:55:00.000-07:00

I feel like a librarian whose entire collection of books has burnt to the ground.

And even when it's rebuilt and the floors are glossy and my shoes make click click noises as I walk, I still feel haunted.

I still touch the spines of the invisible books. I still carry hundreds of their stories with me.

& I won't ever let go of the lost books.

image here